Waiting for a any Woman
 
 
Be patient
be very very patient
after that
add more patience
then wait
and wait
and wait and wait and wait
become a waiter
at least you will be paid to wait
 
When she finally finally arrives
Giver her the biggest smile you possibly possess
Tell her, "Hello love, you are early and
looking very majestically beautiful my sweet!
what have you done to your hair love?"
since you have waited a century or two or three
it's a safe gamble she has, and you my friend
will be a big winner.
 
Therefore when you wait and wait and wait
be a winner
even skeletons
smile

Sue
 
 
Take notice
I am going to sue you, and you and you
I am suing Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog
The bastard claimed he had a bigger log
I am suing the baker the butcher and the candle stick maker
I am suing Greece, for being to greasy
I am suing bugs bunny, for stealing my carrot so easy
I am suing the road runner if I can catch the little bugger
Ops! I dog just pooped on my lawn
That is!
I am suing the dog, I am suing his poop and I am suing
My lawn for not defending against the poop
I am suing the gardener who planted the grass and lawnmower company
                      just cause he has a fat ass
I am suing the pen companies, every single one
For supplying pens to wanna be poets, those loud mouth ones
I am suing twitter and twiddle dee and twiddle dumb
I am suing Trump and that’s just for fun
I am suing the obnoxious and the all the political scum
I am suing Mr Campbell and you all know why!
His dam Soup is what made me cry!
I am suing the Russians, who faked all the contests
I am suing the British, breaking with the rest
I am suing Al Gore and his 5000 light bulbs
While I am at it I will sure the oceans and seas
For why not, shall not the world all bend down for me?
I will sue Sussy, Susan and Sue, oh ya and Sara from the bible too!
I will sue them all till they turn quite blue
I will sue each and every one of my toes
Serving them a summons is as easy as it goes
I sue Dr Seuss, before he sues me
Cause lets face it I am as funny as he!
I will sue the Christmas turkey when it is time
He was living pretty well off on my gracious  dime
I will sue Raymond but only for this
 
Every One Sues Raymond
 
I will sue poets who think their great piss
When they pass on, the air will be fresher
And no one will miss
I will sue the dead, they think they can hide
Dig em all up and with a court summons
I say rise
I will sue the Captain and Bacardi and coke
My golly I will sue Castro that communist bloke
My rum glass leaks, we all know this is true
So I will sue ice cubes, that evaded my imbue
I am suing snow white, and her brother Darren
And those pesky 6 dwarfs but not bashful oh no
He’s too sweet, so he gets a free go
But dare not think, there’s softness in me heart
I am suing the smurfs, those smelly blue little farts
 

And if you see your not on the list
I am suing you for not being there
So put on your briefs
Is court time
Where deceit rings high and liar’s often fair well
Well this next one, his head chopped
Will be the one that fell
 

I forgive you all
I sue you all to hell
But I forgive you
Blood coming out of all your holes
 

I am suing the clock and all of its hands
Repeating their crimes while I toil as I stand
I will sue all the mariachi bands
For saying love is so sweet, when I found out is bland
I will drink tequila and sue the Mexican worms
Who thought the knife in me back would make me squirm
I will sue the photographers
Who took pics of my kids
Don’t mess with this beauty
Connect all the dots, I live with George Clooney
 
 
 

The Kentucky Derby
Everyone's rushing to get their lawyer
Horses falling and broken bones
Ya'all gonna sue Tom Sawyer

Someone, who spouts forgiveness which he certainly should be asking for, at the same time, threatened me with lawyers? I found this hilarious, as this individual has obviously not read my poetry. I have quite frankly, however you wish to describe it attacked, condemned, mocked, satired, insulted, world leaders and terrorists, the likes of Putin, Assad,. Trump, Durante of Philippines, China, Saudi Arabia, ISIS and so on. I have received numerous death threats, general threats, veiled attacks, troll attacks and lawsuits. Bullies abound, we all know this. Please, and I am quite proud of it, the political figures that have tried and failed, please think twice. I have most of my works reviewed beforehand; I have never lost, and will defend myself from defamation of character.

Humor? By golly Jan, I can do humor! I promise!

I Killed 1000's of Evil Females
 
I was arrested this morning in bed
The evidence was very overwhelming
I was bloody and bleeding all over
In a frenzy last night
After some wine
Apparently I committed atrocities
 
As I sit inside this bare white interrogation room
I can tell you with a clear conscience
I feel no remorse
No regret
They all deserved to die
I crushed them
Made them bleed
Made them plead
I showed not one drop of mercy
Killer killer killer
I slaughtered them all
Every last female I could slap, slay or strangle
Dead dead dead
I am guilty as charged
 
By the end of the evening
My friends had to restrain me
A frenzied killer was on the loose
Although they themselves carry some of the guilt
I could not commit this crime alone as I did
Sure they killed a few here and there too
I know what you’re thinking
The Killing fields
 
Well Law and Order, FMD division
Was about to start their interrogation
Nothing to it really
I readily confessed
Every single one of those dam females got what they deserved
I confessed, if I hadn’t killed them
They would have surely sucked me dry
Till I was all skin and bones
 
 Why, I had an evil smile across my face
All those famous serial killers
I out did them all
I showed no mercy
Blood and gore I slaughtered them all
 
Now you are all thinking
Who is this evil one?
So I say to you
I am also you
There is not one of you
Man or woman
In my shoes
Who, would not have done the same
 
Those darn female mosquitoes that night
Were driving me insane!!!!

Notes: Law and Order, FMD division Female Mosquito Division
PETA, please do not protest in front of my house, this is pure fiction thank you

Charle Manson

John-Wayne Gracey