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Waiting for a any Woman
Be patient be very very patient after that add more patience then wait and wait and wait and wait and wait become a waiter at least you will be paid to wait When she finally finally arrives Giver her the biggest smile you possibly possess Tell her, "Hello love, you are early and looking very majestically beautiful my sweet! what have you done to your hair love?" since you have waited a century or two or three it's a safe gamble she has, and you my friend will be a big winner. Therefore when you wait and wait and wait be a winner even skeletons smile |
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Sue
Take notice I am going to sue you, and you and you I am suing Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog The bastard claimed he had a bigger log I am suing the baker the butcher and the candle stick maker I am suing Greece, for being to greasy I am suing bugs bunny, for stealing my carrot so easy I am suing the road runner if I can catch the little bugger Ops! I dog just pooped on my lawn That is! I am suing the dog, I am suing his poop and I am suing My lawn for not defending against the poop I am suing the gardener who planted the grass and lawnmower company just cause he has a fat ass I am suing the pen companies, every single one For supplying pens to wanna be poets, those loud mouth ones I am suing twitter and twiddle dee and twiddle dumb I am suing Trump and that’s just for fun I am suing the obnoxious and the all the political scum I am suing Mr Campbell and you all know why! His dam Soup is what made me cry! I am suing the Russians, who faked all the contests I am suing the British, breaking with the rest I am suing Al Gore and his 5000 light bulbs While I am at it I will sure the oceans and seas For why not, shall not the world all bend down for me? I will sue Sussy, Susan and Sue, oh ya and Sara from the bible too! I will sue them all till they turn quite blue I will sue each and every one of my toes Serving them a summons is as easy as it goes I sue Dr Seuss, before he sues me Cause lets face it I am as funny as he! I will sue the Christmas turkey when it is time He was living pretty well off on my gracious dime I will sue Raymond but only for this Every One Sues Raymond I will sue poets who think their great piss When they pass on, the air will be fresher And no one will miss I will sue the dead, they think they can hide Dig em all up and with a court summons I say rise I will sue the Captain and Bacardi and coke My golly I will sue Castro that communist bloke My rum glass leaks, we all know this is true So I will sue ice cubes, that evaded my imbue I am suing snow white, and her brother Darren And those pesky 6 dwarfs but not bashful oh no He’s too sweet, so he gets a free go But dare not think, there’s softness in me heart I am suing the smurfs, those smelly blue little farts And if you see your not on the list I am suing you for not being there So put on your briefs Is court time Where deceit rings high and liar’s often fair well Well this next one, his head chopped Will be the one that fell I forgive you all I sue you all to hell But I forgive you Blood coming out of all your holes I am suing the clock and all of its hands Repeating their crimes while I toil as I stand I will sue all the mariachi bands For saying love is so sweet, when I found out is bland I will drink tequila and sue the Mexican worms Who thought the knife in me back would make me squirm I will sue the photographers Who took pics of my kids Don’t mess with this beauty Connect all the dots, I live with George Clooney |
The Kentucky Derby Everyone's rushing to get their lawyer Horses falling and broken bones Ya'all gonna sue Tom Sawyer 
Someone, who spouts forgiveness which he certainly should be asking for, at the same time, threatened me with lawyers? I found this hilarious, as this individual has obviously not read my poetry. I have quite frankly, however you wish to describe it attacked, condemned, mocked, satired, insulted, world leaders and terrorists, the likes of Putin, Assad,. Trump, Durante of Philippines, China, Saudi Arabia, ISIS and so on. I have received numerous death threats, general threats, veiled attacks, troll attacks and lawsuits. Bullies abound, we all know this. Please, and I am quite proud of it, the political figures that have tried and failed, please think twice. I have most of my works reviewed beforehand; I have never lost, and will defend myself from defamation of character.
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Humor? By golly Jan, I can do humor! I promise!
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I Killed 1000's of Evil Females
I was arrested this morning in bed The evidence was very overwhelming I was bloody and bleeding all over In a frenzy last night After some wine Apparently I committed atrocities As I sit inside this bare white interrogation room I can tell you with a clear conscience I feel no remorse No regret They all deserved to die I crushed them Made them bleed Made them plead I showed not one drop of mercy Killer killer killer I slaughtered them all Every last female I could slap, slay or strangle Dead dead dead I am guilty as charged By the end of the evening My friends had to restrain me A frenzied killer was on the loose Although they themselves carry some of the guilt I could not commit this crime alone as I did Sure they killed a few here and there too I know what you’re thinking The Killing fields Well Law and Order, FMD division Was about to start their interrogation Nothing to it really I readily confessed Every single one of those dam females got what they deserved I confessed, if I hadn’t killed them They would have surely sucked me dry Till I was all skin and bones Why, I had an evil smile across my face All those famous serial killers I out did them all I showed no mercy Blood and gore I slaughtered them all Now you are all thinking Who is this evil one? So I say to you I am also you There is not one of you Man or woman In my shoes Who, would not have done the same Those darn female mosquitoes that night Were driving me insane!!!! Notes: Law and Order, FMD division Female Mosquito Division PETA, please do not protest in front of my house, this is pure fiction thank you |
Charle Manson
John-Wayne Gracey
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